About Damn Time

Over the past couple of months, I have realized that I’m a pourer…I’ve poured from a full cup, from a half cup, and detrimentally from an empty cup. Since I’ve gotten married, I’m so grateful to have someone that pours into me, spiritually, mentally, and physically. If I’m honest, it’s something that I had to get used to.

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship you have is with yourself.” - Diane Von Furstenberg

Before #NewOldBae and I got back together, I poured into myself through meditation, therapy, prayer, and good old spa days to reset and recharge. This blog helped me in many ways, and unfortunately, I haven’t prioritized writing much these days. While I’m very satisfied to have a supportive partner, sometimes, I still find myself pouring into other things than myself – my marriage, my job, our home, the dog, and whatever else may come my way. Burnout and wearing too many hats is a real thing and it has led to low productivity for me as far as tending to Wine & Gossip, which began as my outlet for healing. Here we are in 2025 and I can’t believe that this would be my first post since September of 2023. To say that it took me actually using some of my vacation time to get the energy and inspiration to write, says that I need to start concentrating on getting back to my me time, so that my mind is clear, and I’m motivated to sit and write.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” - Hellobombshell.com

With a never-ending to-do list and the pressure of meeting expectations of those around me, I have lost a bit of control of my priorities. I have to work on getting back to me – back to my workouts, back to eating right, back to spa days and things that make me feel good. Neglecting my self-care just doesn't affect me, it also affects those around me, my work product for my career, things that I want to do outside of work that feed my soul and more, including this weight around my belly that will not go away until I control stress and worry, and prioritize rest, and relaxation. Not to mention, since I'm going through peri-menopause, the symptoms absolutely suck - but the things I've mentioned can definitely help them become more manageable.

“The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done…you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do.” - Lil Wayne

So, I’m writing this post to give myself a list to start from and remind myself to not “put off tomorrow, what I can start today”. I plan to start small, reminding myself that I do not have to overhaul my life overnight. Some of the things I’m planning is:

• Getting back to exercising: When I was working out 3-4 times a week, weight loss was not the only benefit. It provided mental clarity, and I just felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Looking at my watch and seeing that I had completed a workout for the day, gave me the oomph to eat right. Why work out and still eat badly. Angela Bassett once said in an interview, “You can’t out work a bad diet.” and it really stuck with me. Leaning into my love for cooking and focusing on good eating habits will definitely help with getting healthy.

  
  

• Schedule my self-care time: Get back to getting monthly massages and facials. It provided me time to not only relax but get focused. Focus on what moves needed to be made next to enhance this beautiful life that #NewOldBae and I have cultivated.

• Meditation: I would meditate after working out and the reflection of my life that it provided and the enhancement of my relationship with God, allowed me to acknowledge my needs, wants, and how to prepare for this next phase of life.

• Establish boundaries: I’ve gotten better at this over the years, but I still have some work to do in this area.

  
  

• Start back writing: Focus on this blog and write a fantasy noir book that I have in mind. #NewOldBae has given me the motivation to really focus on my love for writing.

  
  

• Overcome guilt: I need to overcome the guilt of wanting me time and realize that it’s not selfish, but a necessity. I tell friends all the time that “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” and here I am pouring from my empty cup. Following my own advice can be beneficial to everyone around me and those that depend on me to be the best me.

This year, #NewOldBae and I decided that we would have our own vision board session with each other and have conversations and make decisions that will help shape the life that we want to live. I am so looking forward to doing this exercise with him as we move into our second year of marriage.

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” - M. Scott Peck

As we all are faced with today’s responsibilities, I’d love to know what steps you’re taking to prioritize yourself and deal with all that life is handing out.

Until next time…thanks for listening!